In Ephesians 5:31, the Apostle Paul tells his readership that “a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This simple phrase is packed with important meaning. First, spouses must make a clean break from their parents to become married. Too often, partners fall back on their parents and show more trust for them than their own spouses. This inevitably causes trust issues in relationships. Second, the two are joined together as one flesh. Anything that jeopardizes this oneness can threaten a marriage. The separation of the spouses from their parents and the oneness of their lives and bodies in marriage make them soul mates.
The world uses “soul mates” in the sense of fate. “Soul mates” are “destined” to be together and, when one soul mate is removed, the other is left helplessly deprived of a soul mate. In Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts, Les and Leslie Parrott contend that the concept of soul mates has more to do with the couples shared spiritual lives. Couples who are “one” in their spiritual activities and understanding are truly soul mates. Couples need spiritual intimacy, a God-centered marriage, and shared spiritual experiences like worship, prayer, and service to develop the soul mate aspect of their marriage. Serving together can establish a soul-level bond in marriage that no other activity will match.
For the first several years of my marriage my wife and I led a missions ministry that travelled around the world with hundreds of young people to share the Gospel and make disciples. This activity brought countless challenges and trials but enduring these together taught us about God and each other. Serving alongside our spouse showed us a level of depth and trustworthiness not visible any other way. It also revealed a heart for God and ministry that attracted us to each other on a deeper level than any physical attraction. Every Christian couple should commit to serving together in some kind of ministry as it will teach them, unite them, and attract them in ways no other activity could match. It will make them truly soul mates.